A Fragile Thought

Winston awoke in panic. “Where am I?” he thought. He was lying on a plush bed with a dark wooden frame. He pulled the thick covers aside, stepping onto the grey carpeting of the room. The window had its curtains drawn, revealing a sunny sky through the branches of an old crab-apple tree which framed the view. His heart was pounding against his chest as his mind spun in circles. This view seemed distantly familiar but he couldn’t place from where or when. He tried to place his surroundings but they were just out of reach.

Winston looked away from the window to find a chestnut dresser. Walking closer to the dresser, he noticed a picture of himself with a woman and two children sitting on their laps. Suddenly Winston was flooded with memories. This wasn’t any old room, this was his room and he had planted the crab-apple tree in the backyard some time ago when he and Evelyn had first bought the house.

“How can I forget such familiar aspects of my life?” he thought, “What is happening to me?” He slowly undressed out of his pajamas, replacing them with a pair of freshly cleaned trousers and a crisply ironed flannel shirt.

As Winston opened his bedroom door he was greeted with the smell of fresh pancakes; the sounds of pans clanking filled the house. When he walked into the kitchen, Winston saw his wife bustling around the room. She flipped a pancake and then hurried over to the sink and began washing the batter bowl. While her back was turned to the sink, Winston snuck up from behind and gave her a long hug.

“Good morning, dear,” he said after kissing her cheek.

She smiled and said, “Morning, you slept in long today.”

Chuckling in response, Winston took a seat at the kitchen table and picked up the newspaper. He looked at the date on the top of the page, “Wednesday already? I could have sworn it was Sunday,” he thought. He shrugged off the stab of fear and continued reading.

“Can you grab the cutlery, honey?” asked Evelyn.

Winston put down his newspaper and walked in the middle of the kitchen. He froze, staring at the drawers-his mind went blank, and he suddenly couldn’t recall which one they were in.

“Not again,” he thought.

His heart started hammering and he could feel his face beginning to heat up as he scanned the kitchen for clues of where they might be.

He saw Evelyn busy placing the pancakes on the table; he quickly opened each drawer starting from one end of the kitchen to the other.

“I’ll be right there,” he said.

His breathing quickened as each drawer he opened seemed to contain everything but the cutlery.

He felt his head begin to spin; Winston opened the last drawer to find it filled with neatly organized silverware. He closed his eyes, inhaling a deep breath, then grabbing the forks and knifes he brought them to the table.

“Sorry dear, I just grabbed a quick glass of water,” he said as he placed the cutlery down.

Looking at him with solemn eyes, Evelyn forced a smile then looked down at her plate and started cutting her pancakes.

While eating and talking, Winston’s worries slowly faded away-being in Evelyn’s presence always put him at ease. Yet every time he dug up the courage to tell her what was happening, he continually surrendered to his fear of scaring her. He took the last bite of his pancake and swallowed the lump of sweetness down.

Later that day, Winston clipped the leash onto Sheena’s collar as she waited patiently at the door.

“Want to go for a walk?” He said, patting the collie’s bushy body.

With ears perked up, she whined eagerly in response while vigorously dusting the floor with her tail.

As he opened the door, he took a deep breath of fresh air. It was warm with a slight breeze, “Perfect weather,” he thought.

They walked until they reached a nearby park. Winston could hear the birds singing their daily melodies as squirrels chattered from the branches above.

“Sit,” he said, unhooking Sheena’s leash and allowing her to run free.

He watched as she loped around the park while occasionally stopping to sniff at the base of a tree. Listening to the breeze rustle throughout the leaves, Winston instantly relaxed. He retreated to his favorite bench near the pond and sat down to enjoy the view.

Winston admired the pond; he observed the frogs sitting on their lily pads while dragonflies zoomed over the lake’s surface. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off.

When he awoke, the sun was low and the birds had stopped singing.

“How long have I been out for?” he thought.

He stood up and looked around. “Where’s my dog?” Her name was on the tip of his tongue.

“Why can’t I remember her name? It hasn’t been this bad before…or has it and I have just forgotten?” he thought. A nauseous feeling abruptly bubbled up from the pit of his stomach and his head began to ache.

He walked along the gravel path trying to think of a way to tell Evelyn what had happened. He was becoming less and less of himself with each passing day.

“What’s her darn name?” he thought.

A memory of he and Evelyn picking her out as a puppy flooded into his mind. “Sheena that’s it!” he thought.

“Sheena come!”  

He could hear his voice echo throughout the park; slicing through the silence.

Within seconds Sheena bounded out from the other side of the park and trotted up beside him with her tongue hanging out happily.

“Atta girl,” he said with a smile as he clicked the leash back onto her collar.  

By the time Winston returned home the sky was dark and he could he see the lights glowing from within his house. As he opened the door, he was welcomed by the aroma of tomato sauce. “It must be supper,” he thought. When he walked into the kitchen he saw Evelyn standing with her arms on her hips.

“What took so long?” she said, “Where were you?”  

“We got caught up in the park,” he said, “Sheena found another playmate and I didn’t want to end it early.” 

He hated lying to Evelyn. Evelyn stared at him with probing eyes then walking up to him, she gave him a long hug.

“Come help me finish the spaghetti,” she said.

When dinner was ready, Winston grabbed the cutlery, proving to himself he remembered where they were. They ate while he listened to Evelyn talk about her day in the garden.

Before going to bed, they watched television together- Winston set his feet up on the coffee table while Evelyn sat beside him with their fingers intertwined.

While watching, Winston felt prickly bumps touching his arm, “Be right back,” he said getting up go to the linen closet.

Looking in the closet, he couldn’t remember which blanket was Evelyn’s favorite. “She’ll like this one,” he thought as he picked out the softest fabric. Returning with blanket in hand, Winston sat down once more at Evelyn’s side and spread the blanket across them both.

“Here you go dear,” he said.

“Thanks” she said, snuggling closer to him as they continued watching the TV.

When the time came Evelyn pressed the red button on the remote, causing the screen to go black.

“Time for bed,” she said while stretching out her arms.

Winston groggily got up and departed to the bedroom.

As he and Evelyn settled into bedroom, Winston replayed scenarios in his head about breaking the news to her. “What will she think of me? Will she pity me? Maybe it’ll be too stressful for her to deal with,” he thought as he pulled up his pajama pants. 

Winston could hear the buzz of Evelyn’s electric toothbrush from the bathroom as he looked at himself in her dresser mirror. “You can do this,” he said to the old man staring back at him.

When Evelyn entered the bedroom, Winston was already in bed reading his book. She crawled into bed beside him and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

“Good night,” she said while rolling over in her usual sleeping position. 

“This is it,” he thought as she turned off the light.

The beating in his chest began to increase and his lungs rapidly tightened with pressure. His throat became suddenly dry as he tried to speak, “No,” he thought, “Best wait until tomorrow morning.”

“Good night,” he said, “I love you.”

He rolled over and fell into a deep slumber.

The next morning Winston awoke in panic. “Where am I?” he thought. He was lying on a plush bed with a dark wooden frame. He pulled the thick covers aside, stepping onto the grey carpeting of the room. The window had its curtains drawn, revealing a cloudy sky through the branches of an old crab-apple tree which framed the view.

His heart was pounding against his chest as his mind spun in circles. This place seemed alien to him. “How did I get here?” he thought as his mind raced for answers.

Winston looked away from the window to find a chestnut dresser. Walking closer to the dresser, Winston noticed a picture of himself with a woman and two children sitting on their laps. “Who is this woman?” he thought.